Monday, July 17, 2006
im freakky pissed off. i don't know if pissed off is the right word to use, but i sort of cannot take it anymore! after talking with clare and lipin after sch, i realised what lipin say is really true! why should i care SO MUCH?! clare said someone backstab me. i don't know if that's really counted backstab (to me), but after hearing from clare, i sort of agree too. and from today onwards, i am NOT going to care much! what's the use! will it BENEFIT me?! NO RIGHT! then?! i just realised i am SUPER STUPID. and i should listen to my mum! why did i act so stupid and foolish and everything?! seriously, sometimes i feel like scolding myself. HELLO?! isn't my fault?! whatever lah, i hope everything can be over and just THE END.
i am so sorry dajie. i don't know if i did the right thing today. cos i almost made dajie cry, but honestly, i think i did the right thing =/ hahaha, ok i don't know what i am trying to say. oh well, dajie! hope you really didn't mind ok! =) and please don't be so neg to yourself already alright. i mean, no one is perfect in this world. so don't take it as if the WHOLE WORLD HATES YOU. you must always rmb that you still some afew great friends beside you, cheering and always helping you when you are in need(:
and something to erjie. i just realised that i am really very very happy to have you as my 'erjie' or even my best or close friend. really thanks so much! you really ROCK! i know it has been sort of tough for you, and you really wanted to give up, but you are trying your VERY BEST to help(: thanks for everything that you have try to done. but i think i got something to tell you also. but i really don't know how to say.
another person, felicia. thanks so much. thanks for replying my short letter within few hrs and encouraging me. i really made me feel better that day and i also quite agree with you. really THANKS! =D
omg, i really can't stand it. but i am still very happy to have all these as my close friends who are always beside me. i feel like just going to the beach and shout everything out. just SREAMMMM and would EVERYTHING BE OK? i don't know but i just feel kind of locked up now. facing someone looks like is very diffcult. why must things turn out like that? i really got to be honest, i more and more cannot stand you already. i don't know if i will totally lose trust and everything in you but please, don't you think that you yourself is just too sensitive? not only me trying to say this. other people agree with me too. you are simply acting very weird. i don't understand what are you trying to do! she is trying to really say sorry and try talking to you. but you still give her that expression and actions. please lah, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TRYING TO DO! I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!
7:30 PM
